So I just realized that I never posted the second part of my church dilemma. Partically because Part 2 of my dilemma is a little convoluted, but I'll try and make you understand...
* As much as I love Buckhead Church, I'm starting to feel less connected there than I have in the past. The other week when I went to my first Fusion of the summer cycle, I remember walking through the door and thinking to myself "Wow, things sure have changed." Meaning, I've been going to BC for four years and I don't see any familiar faces anymore. All of the friends I made at past Fusions have either moved away or gone away to join the ranks of Marriage-dom. It's the same thing with Production. The production team has grown so much that I rarely get scheduled with the people I knew from way back when, and when I meet new people, it's rare that I get scheduled with them again. When I first started going to BC I could at least recognize faces. I used to stay at church for hours after it was over, just fellowshipping and having fun with friends.
But now I feel like one in a sea of faces and I come to church and then I leave and go home. And the thing about it is I'm very much involved in the church. I'm not a pew-sitter. I go to Fusion. And for some reason I just don't really feel like I"m connecting with my Fusion grouop. I'm in a small group. And my new small group is nice but it's nowhere near the level of relationship I experienced in my last small group. I do production. And I've already explained the problem with that. I used to also volunteer in the front office when we were at the grocery store so I knew practically all the staff. But now the staff isn't even the same, and many of the ones who are vets don't seem to remember me. It's very frustrating but I don't know if I should take this as a sign that I'm growing apart from BC or is it that I just need to keep trying to find my "crew" again? It's just very frustrating to be so invovled in a church where I used to feel like family and now I feel like a stranger. And I LOVE Buckhead Church! I don't want to leave! Hopefully the problem is that I just have to find my people again.
* My other church dilemma just has to do with the church as a whole. I'm still frustrated with the church and the direction we're taking. I've been on this rant before but I started to feel this way as I was sitting in that United Methodist church a couple weeks ago. The church is struggling, they're not really meeting their weekly offering goals, which made me think what happens to smaller churches like these? Are they supposed to just get eaten up by large ministries that have all the lights and smoke? I've seen many small churches try to solve this problem by mimicking what they see in larger churches--in other words, being something that they're not. I get a little aggrevated when I hear people from other churches putting Buckhead Church on a pedestal and trying to replicate everything we do. I believe Buckhead Church works because it is carrying out the mission that God has for Buckhead Church. God might have a totally different mission for your church.
Just stopped by to catch up. I know how you feel music, churchism and all. Keep pressing maybe we can start our own church...
Posted by: Sis | June 18, 2009 at 12:06 PM