Convergence

Food, Glorious Food!

Did I mention that I love to cook? I don't know how this happened but for the past 3 years or so I've developed this love for cooking where it brings me great joy to cook and then to see people eat my food and enjoy it. My love for cooking has intensified now that we've moved because I've got a much more functional kitchen that has lots of great space.

I was so proud of myself because this morning I actually got up and made fresh, homemade biscuits from scratch. It's been a long time since I made biscuits and the last time I did it it was with my mom so this was my first time doing it by myself. To go with the biscuits I made a mexican chicken scramble with lemon pepper chicken, eggs, cheese and salsa. It tasted just like IHOP's chicken fajita omelette. YUM!!

Yesterday I made Hawaiian chicken and that was YUM too!

 

Over the weekend it was homemade pancakes topped with fresh blueberries. I was particularly proud of myself on this meal because my eggs are becoming more and more like my dad's everyday. (My dad could always throw down on some breakfast!)

This is yet another reason why Sadie and Bertha get along so well. I like to cook and we both like to eat! :-)

Random Thoughts on a Tuesday Night (Wednesday Morning)

Today was a good day. I got up early this morning and did a Media Workshop for the teens at Harvest Rain Church in Fairburn. Jon's mom does some work with them there and she asked me to come and do a two-week session with the kids called Media Mania. It's been a long time since I've worked with teens. I forgot how unenthusiastic they can be. But then at the end of the day they're like "This was the bestest class ever!" Who knew? I sure couldn't tell by the looks on their faces. I guess it's the cool factor. Aw well, gotta love 'em. Overall they're a good group and I had fun so I look forward to our next few sessions together.

One more week until classes start back up and I don't really feel like I accomplished all the things I wanted to get done over the break. Faithfully Divided ended up taking up so much of my time. I'll be spending the rest of this week trying to get my syllabi together and do the best I can at making this a successful quarter.

I'm still a bit shocked at the responses I've been getting to my post from Saturday night. I said it before but it's good to know I'm not alone. I came across this post on another Convergence website and I thought it was quite interesting and related to my Turbulent Times post. It's funny. Sometimes I think Christianity has become so focused on receiving blessings and material possessions and "reaping a harvest" that when these things don't happen we feel like we've missed something. But when you look at the things that Jesus talked about most, they're a little less tangible and have less to do with us. What gospel are we preaching?

It Pays to Be Honest

Yesterday was a good day. I did production at church yesterday morning and it was my first time actually running the switcher during the service. I've been in training for quite some time now but they finally let me run rehearsal and then they went ahead and let me do both services. That was a treat because I didn't expect that. It was a lot of fun and not nearly as scary as I had been making it out to be!

Jon and I went back to church that evening for the 6:00 service. Andy just started a new series called "Letters to the Next President." He's talking about principles that government leaders should live by, and it's a very timely message, especially during this political season. After church Jon and I went to Pero's for some pizza and to talk. Pray for us, ya'll. We've been having some challenges in the area of communication lately. But it's ok. One of the things that I love about Jon is that if I'm having a problem at least he's always willing to listen to me bark and complain. Well yesterday I got to hear him talk about some problems he was having in our relationship. It feels so good to be able to be honest and share how we feel. And I believe problems in communication always result in better understanding--as long as both parties are honest and verbalize them and are willing to work at fixing the problems. People always say that in relationships it's not until you get to that 6th month that you really start to see people for who they are. I think that is so true. It's like by that time the honeymoon is over and then you have to deal with the real issues. But they also say that if you can survive that 6 month - 1 year period then you're good to go. I think Jon and I will survive, but it's going to take lots of prayer, honesty and hard work from both of us. Whew! Who knew relationships could be so hard?! But after we talked and straightened everything out I realized how much worth it it really is.

I've been getting a lot of feedback from people on my post from yesterday. It's good to know that I am not the only one who feels the way I do. I actually took yesterday's post and actually voiced all of those concerns to God. How refreshing it is to know that we can still come to God, even with those kinds of questions! Just verbalizing my feelings on this blog and to God gave me such a feeling of peace that I haven't felt in a long time. It also refueled my desire to continue to seek God, even though I may not get all the answers immediately. As I sat in worship last night, I felt such a comfort in knowing that God loves me. Regardless of my questions and my doubts, regardless of my faults, regardless of when I don't get it right.

Just goes to show that HONESTY is ALWAYS the best policy. BE REAL--with yourself, with relationships and most importantly with God.

Turbulent Times

I have a confession to make. I'm about to get real transparent with all you Convergence readers so I hope you can handle it.

I am really struggling with my faith.

Has anybody ever felt this way before? I mean, the more I walk this walk I wonder what is it all for? Let me rephrase that. It's not even so much that I doubt God. I'm just really getting sick and tired of the religion that's been handed down through church. What really matters? As Christians we focus on so many things as a gauge as to whether a person is "holy" or not--drinking, homosexuality, pre-marital sex, cursing, tatooing, secular music, blah blah blah. The list goes on and on. But it's interesting to me that Jesus never really talked about ANY of those things! The LAW talked about them but Jesus said he came to fulfill the law and that meant we are to love God and love our neighbor. Period. And yes, the Bible says not to do those things that I just mentioned but it also says for women to cover their heads, it also says for men to not shave their beards, it also says we're actually supposed to give 19% of our income (not 10% like we always preach). All of these things we don't do! Jesus also said we're supposed to go out, take care of the poor, the widows, the orphans, the prostitutes, the tax collectors and a lot of churches don't really do that. Instead we focus on conferences and shows and ministries that are all in-house and require people to come to us. It's like the church is one big contradiction. I just don't get it. So yeah, as far as that goes, I'm confused and I'm struggling with understanding those issues. And to me that doesn't really have to do with God, that's just my issues with church teaching. And just as a sidebar, that's one of the things I love about Buckhead Church is that we don't really have a whole lot of ministries for people to be in throughout the week. We're called to BE the church in our daily lives. And we can't do that if we're always sitting in church at a conference or at a ministry meeting.

And then sometimes I don't get God either. I was reading the story of Abraham sacrificing his son the other day. And I just couldn't understand why God would do that? Why would he test him like that? Especially when he knows everything and knew Abraham's heart and would follow through? Why does God sometimes choose not to act on his omnipotence? I remember one of the biggest times in my life when I struggled with this. It was when 9/11 happened. I get the fact that we live in a fallen world and there is nothing good in the hearts of man and so therefore sometimes people do evil things like fly plans into buildings. I get that. But what got me was that there was a MAJOR cleanup and rescue mission in the days and weeks following the attack. I remember watching the news, I think it was on the third day, and it started raining. So the rescue workers got frustrated because they couldn't do any work that night because of the rain. I got so frustrated with God that night because I couldn't understand why he would allow it to rain when people were trying to do something good and save people's lives that might still be trapped in the rubble. He had the power to not make it rain, so why did he?

These are just questions that I have and I'm just venting right now. I just started reading a book called "The Idea of God." It's one of those ancient philosophic/apologetics books and so far it seems like it might address some of those questions. I've also got some C.S. Lewis books on my shelf that I still need to tackle. He's like one of my favorite authors because he really delves into the core of our beliefs as Christians. So this might be a good time for me to get into some apologetics. My small group ended a few months ago and I think I desperately need to find a new one. 

And I KNOW God has a plan. And I KNOW all things work together for good. And I KNOW it'll all make sense when we get to heaven. But Why, God? Why?

Has anybody else ever felt this way or am I alone in this?

Goodbye Green Bean, Hello Thelma

It's official. The Green Bean is dead.

I was devastated a week ago when I got the call from Allstate that my car was a total loss after the accident with my sister. I had no idea that when I dropped my car off at the body shop to be fixed two weeks ago that I would never drive my car again. Allstate instructed me to go to the repair shop and clean out my belongings. When I got there, they had my little Green Bean sitting over in the car cemetery with all the other cars that were beyond repair.

I think what saddened me the most was how torn apart the car was. The bumper was in the backseat. Headlights and other parts were sprawled out on the concrete. All I could do was cry. Me and the Green Bean have been through a lot together--trips up and down the NJ Turnpike to NY and Philly, back and forth across the GW Bridge to get to class everyday. That car brought me all the way down here to the ATL. I'll never forget the day I got the title to that car. After 6 years of car payment agony on a freelance videographer's salary, all the while dodging fear of the repo man coming to take the car away, I finally paid the last payment (well, technically my Aunt Bessie paid it). What a great feeling that was.

  

Seeing her there so to' up was a bit hard to take. Ahhh...yes, there's a history there with the Green Bean so I was sad to see her go.

But the reality is that the Green Bean had its own share of issues before the accident. The A/C had given out, the gas gauge broke, my driver's side window didn't work, and a host of other problems. So in a weird kind of way it was like a blessing in disguise.

The silver lining in all this is that I got to get a new car. With the settlement from the accident and some help from my dad, I was able to get a PT Cruiser, which I have been wanting for a long time. I used to hate those little cars. That is until I drove one.

Ever since the Labor Day Retreat last year I have been wanting one of these. It drives good, and it's compact, yet roomy inside for a tall girl like me. And it's weird looking and odd--just like me. I love to be different from the crowd. Everybody who sees it says it's such a "me" car, that it suits me and my style very well. It has a kind of old-school feel to it so I decided to name her Thelma. I think Thelma and I will get along very well together. Check her out! 

 

No Title Today, Too Much On the Brain

Convergence readers, if I ever needed your prayers, I sure do need them this weekend. I got a call from Allstate yesterday evening that my car is a total loss. Apparently my sister did more damage than we thought when she rammed into me in the driveway. I'm not mad, the car actually had a lot of things wrong with it so I knew it would soon be time to get a new one. I was just hoping it wouldn't be this soon. The timing of this couldn't be worse, but at the same time it couldn't be better. The car's been at the shop for the past week and I've been driving a rental car. As I was driving around yesterday I was reminded that my car has no air condition, the gas gauge stopped working, the driver's side power window doesn't work, it needs an oil change...all this aside from the repairs from the accident. I was dreading giving the rental car back because that meant I'd have to drive around in Georgia heat again until I could afford to get my AC fixed.

At any rate, I'll be car shopping this weekend. Plus I still have to finish up the rough cut for Faithfully Divided in time for my meeting with the producers on Monday. Plus I still have to finish the video for Courageous Church. Plus I'm still trying to get my house in order. Can you believe we are STILL moving furniture? This move never ends. We went over to the old apartment yesterday and cleaned up. I still have some random furniture to get rid of and I realized last night that there are still a couple of items that I left over there. I have no idea how I'm gonna get all this stuff done this weekend. I really need to edit today but now I have to go to the repair shop and clean all my belongings out of my old car so Allstate can come and take it away.

I guess my day starts now, so I must stop blogging and get into the shower. There were so many cool things I wanted to tell you all about my new apartment and other stuff that's been going on in my life but I guess I'll have to save that for another time...

Movin' On Up!

Well it feels like it's been ages since I last blogged...well, really it has been awhile...but this time not because I was a slacker. It was because I've been moving boxes furniture all week and so I didn't really have full access to my computer until this weekend.

Me and Khalilah finally moved! Yippee!! It was a tough move. We officially got our keys to the new apartment last Sunday so we've been slowly moving all of my stuff out of the the old apartment all week. On top of that I've had people come by to buy my old furniture so I've been moving furniture all week as well. Who knew I had so much stuff! It's funny how you can accumulate so much crap after the course of 3 years. I'm going to try and start consolidating my life so that next time I move there won't be so much random crap--yeah right.

Anywho, the big move was on Friday. Me and Khalilah tried to let the guys handle that as much as possible because we were so tired from moving the bulk of my stuff throughout the week. It didn't take them long at all. But now everything is pretty much in our new place. I still have to go back and clean up the old apartment though.

The new place is fabulous! It's definitely an upgrade. Right now I am sitting in my office typing this--yes, I have an office now...it's so great. Well, actually it's a sunroom that we've made into an office but it's still great. :-) We've got two bedrooms and two baths so we no longer have to wait for the bathroom. We've got a living room, a dining room and a really nice and big kitchen. I can't wait to cook some great meals in there! Last Sunday when we got our keys we came in and painted all the rooms to give the place some flair and I think it worked. It looks like two artists live here! To give you a sneak peek, here's a picture of our kitchen...

Yep! We've got red hot walls! And it's great! Just a taste of what's to come...I'll post more pictures once we get a little more settled.

Between the painting and the moving, I've been so sore all week I thought my body was going to break up into little pieces. But now I think I'm slowly starting to feel a little bit normal again...if I ever was normal...

A Courageous Shoot + SATC--The Second Draft

Today was a busy day. It started off early with going to shoot a video for Pastor Shaun King and The Courageous Church. It was quite an adventure. We started off shooting in The Bluff, which is a pretty rough area of town. But that wasn't nearly as scary as trying to shoot around the heavy security down at Atlantic Station. At one point one of the security guards threatened to take my camera away. But come to find out he was only joking. But the effects of his joke left me trembling for the rest of the shoot. But hopefully everything will cut together well in the end, which I'm sure it will.

There was lots of activity down at Atlantic Station today due to the opening of H&M. The line was literally around the block. I love to shop and I love H&M but that was a bit much. I couldn't bring myself to get on that line just to go to a store. I'll catch 'em in a couple of weeks.

The day ended with a trip with the girls from small group to go see Sex and the City. Yes, I went to see it again, and it was actually just as fabulous (er, uh--sorry Angela) -- I mean great -- as it was the first time I saw it. It's weird, but despite the fashion and labels obsession, I think I identify with these four women more than I've ever identified with any women on television. That might be stretching it just a little bit, but that's how I feel whenever I watch the movie, and that's what kept me watching the series. I wish I could go into more detail about what I got out of the movie the second time but I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it. But I will say one thing I love about the movie is how it captures the loving friendship of these four women who are there for each other NO MATTER WHAT. I also love the fact that the show as well as the movie deal with the fact that the idea of today's woman has changed since back in the day. Many of us are independent, driven, and goal oriented on our own--and it's interesting to see how that affects our interactions and relationships with men. And it really makes you think -- to what extent can you balance between staying true to yourself and having to accomodate another human being? It's an interesting thought to consider, and that's another point they address in the movie. Hmm...I may have to write more about that later.....

Homemade Goodness--Sadie & Bertha At It Again!

Since Bertha and I will be moving in 4 days, I'm making it a point not to go grocery shopping until we get to our new place so that we don't have to transport a bunch of food. So today when I came home from work I felt like cooking, but that meant I was confined to only using foods and ingredients that we already had in the house. Good thing I'm a creative cook. I found some chicken legs in the freezer and built a fabulous meal around that.

The result? Tuscan Romano Chicken with Pineapple Rice and Mixed Vegetables. We topped it off with some fake liquor. Now THAT was some good eating. YUM!! Now I've gotta go--the itis is settling in...

 

A Hard Knock Life?

A few weeks ago I was in the green room at Buckhead Church, waiting for service to start when Carlos from Ragamuffin Soul sat at my table and asked me "How are you doing? Are you enjoying life?" "I'm ok," I replied. "I've just got a lot going on." He asked me to explain and I went on an on about how I'm editing a documentary and trying to find a place to live and...well, that was about it. When I finished with our conversation I couldn't help but beat myself up. Why do I have this tendency to make my life seem more miserable than it really is?

I've talked to other people who do this as well. It's like we have better association with pain or suffering or unhappiness than we do with happiness and/or contentment. When at work and co-workers ask "How are you doing?" the response is often "Girl, I'm so tired..." or "This place is getting on my nerves." or "People round here are so crazy." How often do you hear someone say "Life is great. I can't complain."

I think as a society the only way we feel like we can identify with people is if their life is miserable. Like I once heard someone say that women bond and form friendships over gossip. A part of me thinks that this may be true. I know that there have been many times at the office where my friendships were birthed out of the latest "dish the dirt" sessions around the water cooler. I think the same thing goes for other people, not just women. Especially in the workplace. Co-workers become friends when they can moan together about how much their job sucks.

The thing about it is, my life is not rough. Life is actually good. I actually like my job (not that it's without problems, but overall I like it), I'm still making movies, I've got a great boyfriend, I'm getting ready to move into a nice new apartment. What do I really have to complain about? Especially knowing that just a few years ago I was a struggling freelance videographer chasing checks to pay my bills? And what would happen if when someone asked me how I'm doing, I responded with "Life is great. I can't complain." Well, I'm sure that in some places I might lose some acquaintances. But who knows, I might just gain a fresh perspective that allows me to be free and content in the blessing called My Life.